Here’s a few do’s and don’ts for increasingly popular European recording artists when playing Glasgow.
DO pick a beautiful venue like the Arches for your first Scottish show in bloody ages.
DON’T forget that it’s a cavernous multi-room open space you’re playing rather than the single streched area where the stage is, so the PA system should be adjusted accordingly.
DO pick an up and coming, similar-sounding European pop for your support.
DON’T let them have a name that could be construed as a euphamism for vomiting, i.e. “I was hanging onto the Porcelain Raft for dear life”.
DO kick off your set with the creepy, atmospheric opener from your recent album with breathless vocals from Zola Jesus piped in.
DON’T do it almost a full hour after your support band has finished which included a good ten minutes of fannying about after playing the first keyboard note of the aforementioned Intro.
DO batter straight into a sequence of absolute bangers like Teen Angst, Kim and Jessie and Reunion that will get the crowd moving despite the muted sound system.
DON’T then follow it with a lengthy series of album tracks from your critically acclaimed-but-arguably-overlong-and-maybe-just-a-teensy-bit-samey-new-album, leaving the crowd restless and even the most hardened fans considering getting that earlier train home.
DO break out of the mire with an international mega-hit like Midnight City followed by the pounding trance beats of Couleurs.
DON’T forget that you need to build your setlist around a venue’s curfew, not the other way round, and that if you started late it’s your own fault that you “only have time for one more song, mes amis” for pissing about the start.
Mr Anthony Gonzalez, we know that you and your crew can do much, much better than this (T in the Park in 2009 for example). An okay gig. Nothing more, nothing less.
Still, it could have been worse, we could have been among the hundreds of Frightened Rabbit fans stuck outside Cabaret Voltaire without a ticket.
